As Nigerians prepare for the scathing increment in the prices of data
plans by telecommunication companies, a Nigerian comic writer has listed
a certain group of people that will be badly affected.
Despite the quagmire state of the nation, the Nigerian
Communications Commission (NCC), has chosen to add to our problems by
mandating local service providers to increase their data rates for
irrelevant reasons, starting from the 1st of December.
Without deceiving ourselves, this directive from NCC will be
unfavorable to subscribers as many may denied frequent internet access.
Without wasting time, the following people may no longer have access to
the internet when data rates increases.
1. Broke guys
Recession has turned many financially buoyant guys to become broke
that they can't even boast of two square meal let alone subscribe for a
full month data plan. Many will agree with me that NCC will only be
compounding these people's problems because they will have to borrow
phones from their enemies just to check their Bet9ja tickets.
2. Whatsapp subscribers
The whatsapp subscribers are so economical that they can manage
10MB for a whole year without getting exhausted. By the time 20MB
monthly whatsapp plan is reduced to 2MB per month, these people will
only switch on their data once in every 23 hours just reply the pending
whatsapp messages
3. Facebook subscribers
Once data rates increases, monitoring spirits on facebook will
drastically reduce as guy will not be able to ass-lick ladies on social
media. In fact, they will only view ladies profile pictures on Facebook
and will not be able to comment since they will be managing their weekly
data plans which might be reduced to from 25MB to 10MB
4. Stingy/Greedy people
These are the people that have money yet stingy to themselves. Even
if they're being offered 50GB for N1, 000, they will still wail and
complain that they deserve more. These people are likely to use their
money to gulp beer and devour nkwobi when data rate is Increased as they
see it as waste of money.
5. Night crawlers
These are the people that can't browse during the daytime but will
have to wait till 12am so that they can subscribe for N25 night browsing
just to dowload from naijauncut and xvideos. I believe it's cruelty if
service providers increase data rates and cease night browsing plans
because these people will no longer have any hope of surfing the net
even at midnight
6. Cheap phones users
Some people are using cheap phones that can't even subscribe Airtel
3GB monthly plan. When data rates is increased, they may choose not to
subscribe again their monthly data plan can even buy their phones.
7. Those who relay on people for data sharing
Those who rely on people to share data with them will be put to
shame because, increase in data rates will make those who share data
with them to become stingy. These people will become wailers and will
begin to rain curses on Buhari and NCC
8. Ladies who rely on men for subscription
I know that thing will soon go worse that most guys will not be
able to subscribe for themselves let one subscribe for ladies.
Therefore, ladies will be willing to trade their virginity for data
subscription so that they can have access to Facebook and whatsapp. The
ones who can't do this will be stranded as life will become boring to
them.
9. Data resell scammers
Those who spam social media with ridiculously cheap data plans may
not be able to even subscribe let alone spam websites in a bid to scam
people.
10. Thugs/Derailers
I have already predicted that increase in data rates will bring
about peace on social media as hooligans, bashers and derailers will not
be able to subscribe let alone bash people on social media. This
implies that only the rich will be found on social media
I drop my pen at this juncture.
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